Empaths and Introverts- it's okay to ask for help too.

“The deepest pain I ever felt was denying my own feelings to make everyone else comfortable.”

Nicole Lyons

The thing about introverts is, we generally internalise our pain because we don’t want to be a “bother” on people. Always the empath, we listen to other people, and we are there for them- but when it comes to communicating how we are, or if we need help with anything (whether big or small) it takes a lot for us to speak out.

I remember when I was at the park with the girls, and my littlest was having a big melt down. She didn’t want to be consoled, and was rolling around in the dirt. So I went down on my knees to try and comfort her and pick her up. Not realising the large branch directly above my head, I stood up quickly and smashed my head fairly hard. Things went blank for a split second, and I sat there feeling dazed and confused. Sage was crying at my feet, but I just kind of stared into nothing. My friends were there, but I honestly had thoughts of “I don’t want to be a bother.” Thankfully, after about 5 minutes, my friend noticed and I told her what happened. Immediately she came to my aid and sat with me until my dizziness and confusion eased.


Afterwards, I was thinking about all the times in my life where I just sit… and wait… Not speaking up, because I don’t want to put another person out. I thought about how someone recently said to me that sometimes we can disguise doing acts of kindness on others, to deflect the fact that we aren’t kind to ourselves.

So, I’m trying.

Trying to be kinder, and a little more “selfish”… Because, perhaps, asking for help isn’t actually selfishness- but a form of kindness to ourselves.

I guess, my dear empathetic introvert reader, I want you to check in with yourself. I imagine that during this pandemic time, you are reaching out to your loved ones. Making sure they’re okay, being a support for them, offering to ease their emotional burdens. Perhaps you have some extroverted friends that are finding this time of social distancing and isolation extremely hard- and you’re worried. Worried for them. Worried for others. Worried about what is going to come and what will happen.

But please, don’t forget to look after yourself too. If you’re finding this hard, and you need some help- it’s okay to reach out. We don’t always need to be the strong ones. We don’t always need to be the ones that have it together. Be there for your friends, but if you also need your friends there for you- ask. Find your people. Get support. Call phone counselling if you need. Whatever it is that you do- be kind to yourself and know that you’re not a bother.