This is a disappointing truth for INFJ's.
Sometimes, being an INFJ, it can feel like when you’re going through a hard time… No one is actually there for you.
The world can feel like a lonely place when you are met with challenge after challenge.
Normally, what happens for an INFJ when life is kicking them down… Is that they tend to turn into their hermit mode… Retreating from the world and hiding away.
Being in a place of isolation can have it’s positives and it’s negatives. It’s great for rebuilding your energy levels… But at times, it can also be to your detriment, especially when you really need your mates around.
Many INFJ’s feel like when life gets hard, they don’t’ hear from anyone. No one calls them. No one checkes in on them. It can feel like nobody actually cares.
If you don’t’ be careful, this can turn into a deep resentment towards the loved ones in your life.
I want to myth bust this phenomenon… Because I truly believe that what your perceiving may not necessarily be the case. And of course, I’m keen to heart your thoughts on this and for you to join the discussion in the comments. Don’t’ forget to subscribe to my channel while you’re there.
Let’s reflect on this for a moment… If an INFJ is an intuitive feeling person, then it would make sense that they are able to pick up on the subtle cues of their friends, when their FRIENDS are having a hard time. It’s normally the INFJ that would call , support , and be there for them. INFJ’s are known to be loyal and strong friends, willing to sacrifice their own needs for others.
And so, when it’s the INFJ’s turn to have a rough patch… it can feel really disconcerting that their own mates don’t support them in the same way. It can feel very one sided… Topsy turvy.. Frustrating… Not quite right. But as an INFJ, we need to remember that everybody is wired differently… Not everyone has the same superpowers as us… Our strengths are not always their strengths. Just like their strengths can sometimes be our weakness. They may not actually be picking up on the subtle cues that you’re throwing out. Your silence and isolation may not be perceived as a sign that you’re struggling. They may be thinking that they’re respecting your need to be alone and for time out, especially if you keep declaring that you’re an introvert.
If you’re struggling, and you feel like you need your friends support… You might have to do that scary brave thing, and let them know. You might need to send a text message, or god-forbid CALL THEM… and say, “Hey! I’m having a really hard time. Can we catch up for coffee?”
It might actually surprise you… But your friends aren’t ditching you… They just didn’t know.
I bet you that their perception of you is that you’re strong. Resilient. And got your shit together. But even strong, resilient people sometimes need support and love. They’re not going to go know that though, unless you tell them.
I do want to encourage you with something.. I know it can be hard to speak up when life is getting you down… But there is a strength in sharing your vulnerability. It takes a lot of courage in doing that. And if you feel like you need extra support from someone, who ISN’T a friend… Then maybe it’s time to seek counselling. I’m able to provide INFJ counselling to people all over the world… except the US and Canada… and I’d be thrilled if you booked an appointment with me.